Real Anger Management God’s Way

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by Harvey L. Diamond

Anger has long plagued the human race. We all deal with it differently. Some are direct, confrontational, aggressive and even violent; while others are more passive aggressive, using mental energy to avoid confrontation. Some get emotional and simply divert their energy from addressing anger and run from it; while still others exert their energy in social settings, keeping busy and maintaining a happy front. Inside, though, many are smoldering.

It starts with frustration. Things don’t go the way we like. We don’t get what we want or expect. Our pride gets shattered. We tolerate others and situations to be socially acceptable, but we mask our true feelings.

Some respond to anger by getting vengeful towards others; yet some people seek to simply reward themselves to find happiness. Some focus their attention on relieving themselves from pain of heart; while others get busy or involved in various activities.

No matter how we express ourselves outwardly, anger takes a toll internally. It eats at our soul. It strains our relationship with God, and will separate us from the presence of God, for God dwells in peaceful habitations.

That’s why the Scripture says so much about anger, and advises us against harboring anger, and seeking a remedy

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret -- it only causes harm.
(Psalm 37:8)

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.
(Proverbs 19:11)

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.
(Hebrews 12:14-17)

Anger Hides its Face but Destroys the Soul

Growing up in New York, I saw anger everywhere. It was a way of life. At least people were honest about being angry.

In Texas, I learned how people camouflage anger. They conceal it to fit in socially, and not disqualify themselves. Then they drive their pickup trucks!

Displacing aggression can be healthy and allow you to avoid problems, but it still will separate you from God’s presence—from His real peace and joy. Eventually it will expose itself in a way that will hurt, cause loss, and harm others.

Ways we Disguise Anger

Some disguise anger by playing the victim card. They seek sympathy from others, and won’t take responsibility for their own behavior. They blame others for their problems and fall into self-pity. This eventually causes sorrow, for they lose their ability to receive genuine love and support from those who really care.

Some are good at venting and diverting their energies in constructive ways like, sports and fitness, business and social activities, or even politics and civic events. They are driven physically. Unfortunately, they often drive themselves to exhaustion and misery.

Others simply play a cold war with themselves and others. They live in a pretended state of peaceful coexistence, yet their hearts are froth with distrust, and their minds plagued with paranoia. They are free outwardly, but in real bondage inwardly.

The Fallout from Anger

There are no real winners in an environment steeped in anger. For, it breeds cynicism and distrust. People put up barriers and avoid real communication. In the heat of the battle, it leads to jealousy, resentment and betrayal. When one gives up caring or fighting, it leads to depression. It fosters unhealthy competition and greed, and also unforgiveness. Worst of all, anger keeps the hand and favor of God far from us.

The Solution for Anger

God has real answers and real solutions because He created us! Please believe me, this is not meant to be a cliché. With faith in His word and real solutions from the Holy Spirit, anger can be dealt with; and not managed—but cured. God’s Spirit can sever its roots and yank them out! He can bring real healing of heart. With it, comes peace and joy. I can testify.

Job can too. He lost all, then engaged with God and was restored with twice as much.

"Therefore I will not restrain my mouth;
I will speak in the anguish of my spirit;
I will complain in the bitterness of my soul."
(Job 7:11)

Hezekiah, a king of Israel, also learned the value of engaging with God. He was sick and near death. Then he engaged with God in prayer. God healed him and extended his life.

"What shall I say?
He has both spoken to me,
And He Himself has done it.
I shall walk carefully all my years
In the bitterness of my soul.
O Lord, by these things men live;
And in all these things is the life of my spirit;
So You will restore me and make me live.
Indeed it was for my own peace
That I had great bitterness;
But You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption,
For You have cast all my sins behind Your back.
(Isaiah 38:15-17)

God truly is a redeemer! His promise to us is He will repay our confusion, hurt and the pain of our shame with double honor.

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
(Isaiah 61:7)

It does, however, take humility and patience! For, His process will cut against the grain of our heart.

God’s Process of Anger Management and Real Healing

God is the business of delivering people from bondage. His love compels Him to do so. One of the most dramatic stories in the Bible specifically relates to how God delivered the Hebrew people from the bondage of slavery in Egypt. He used that event to mark the beginning of His pattern of healing.

Just before God was about to begin the process of inflicting the ten plagues upon the Egyptians, He told Moses to relate the following promise to the Hebrew people:

Therefore say to the children of Israel: 'I am the LORD; I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, I will rescue you from their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments. I will take you as My people, and I will be your God. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God who brings you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. (Exodus 6:5-8)

God’s promise is for eternity. He rescues us from our bondage, redeems us from the pain, and restores us to a living relationship with Him.

To remember these promises, Jewish people drink three cups of wine during the annual Passover feast—the Seder. This feast, in fact, marks the beginning of God’s pattern of healing and special way of engaging with us. For, it is the beginning of a cycle of seven feasts; each serving a special purpose.

Following this feast are six additional feasts. These feasts would mark specific ways the people were to relate and interact with God. Truly, they establish a pattern and process God established as a way of engaging with Him. They, in effect, serve as a blueprint of the way He planned to relate and engage with His people on a continuous basis.

The Lord's feasts, as Paul relates in Colossians 2:17, "a shadow of things that are coming, but the body is of the Messiah." As shadows, they may be viewed as a reflection of a blueprint illustrating God's plan of engagement revealed through the Messiah.

Using the Pathways to Zion Process to Bring You from Anger to a Peaceful and Vibrant Life in the Messiah

Psalm 85:13 relates how His footsteps are our pathway. The PATHWAYS TO ZION process, therefore, serves to illuminate ways to relate to God and engage with Him. In fact, Lamentations 1:4 reflects the heart of God yearning for God's people to follow such a course: "The roads to Zion mourn because no one comes to the set feasts."

We are all wired differently. There are many routes along the spiritual journey. To accommodate our different needs and styles, God will, therefore, lead each of us through a variety of processes. We all have our own questions for God, and issues to address with Him. The Bible does have the answers! The Holy Spirit is our guide, comforter, teacher and healer.

The PATHWAYS TO ZION process, therefore, marks a multi-dimensional path of engagement with God. It in essence, facilitates a path of study by key topics, integrating Old and New Testament passages. In addition, it provides thought-provoking questions for reflection. In total, it facilitates a healing and spiritual growth process across six different dimensions, each following God's general pattern.

How to Use the Pathways to Zion Approach

The PATHWAYS TO ZION process provides the flexibility of tailoring a plan of study, reflection and engagement according to your time constraints and style. While it may be used on a horizontal, vertical or random basis, to begin a process of being healed from anger, the HORIZONTAL approach is recommended. Therefore, start from the top left side, and move across the grid focusing on one topic at a time. Be patient and honest with yourself and God as you allow the Holy Spirit to heal you, and lead you along His path to joy and an advancing and progressive life in the Messiah!

You can download a free PDF copy, or use it online as an interactive guide.

To use the grid, you will simply click on any box. A pop-up window will open; providing a brief introduction and links to Scripture references, thought-provoking questions, and pages in our companion books providing greater insight.